


yo body lethal

by a_miiraculer, clairelutra (exosolarmoon)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akuma Attack, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Bikinis, F/M, Field Trip, Fluff and Humor, Heroic Adrien Agreste, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Identity Reveal, Self-Indulgent, Summer Vacation, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Water Park, at least three extensive descriptions of people in bathing suits, based on my own experiences with water parks, less quietly dirty thoughts, possibly more - Freeform, quietly dirty jokes, someone ALWAYS gets lost, super mega ultra self-indulgent oh my god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 11:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11103309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_miiraculer/pseuds/a_miiraculer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/exosolarmoon/pseuds/clairelutra
Summary: [S] Marinette & Adrien: Enjoy a day at the water park.Oh god.Right behind her —right behind her— was Adrien.Adrien who may or may not be shirtless right at this very moment. Adrien who may or may not be shirtless in the near future. Adrien who was certainly in possession of a chest whether or not he chose to clothe it.Help."Shut up, Nino," groaned Adrien, lovely voice sailing right through the thunderous heartbeat in Marinette's ears — a heartbeat that came to a screeching halt at his next words:"Hey, Marinette."Marinette whipped around, nameless organs lodging themselves in her mouth and mangling her attempted greeting of, 'hey, Adrien,' into something closer to "Hmnyeep! Ari— Adri— hi!!"Adrien was, she saw now,tragicallywearing a shirt.Adrien was also, however, wearing swim trunks. And short sleeves. And sunglasses, ones that were perched on top of his head in a way that was impossibly cool.'Plan: Melt Through the Floor' was still a go.(In which people are lost, people are found, bathing suits are destroyed, and everyone ends up running around alot.)





	yo body lethal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [miraculousstorytelling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraculousstorytelling/gifts).



> Shoutout to miracufic/takethembystorm for inspiring/refining the akuma!
> 
> So the prompt for this was: "I'd love to see something where characters are just enjoying their summer vacation. Maybe a day at the beach or a waterpark? I'd just love some bonding between the characters you choose. It can be gen or romantic! I'd love to see a rare pairing in the mix or even at the forefront, but I'm really happy with pretty much any pairing (although I'd really prefer to avoid Nathanette and I absolutely don't want any pairings between a canon adult and canon child character). Please don't write any angst or character death. I'd really prefer something light and pleasant and fun."
> 
> —and I think I didn't do so bad with the 'light and pleasant and fun' thing, though I missed it with the rarepairs and there is a moment of blink-and-you'll-miss-it nathanette. OTL.
> 
> ANYWAY. This was hella fun, tysm for the prompt, and... I hope you enjoy. :D

"So," Alya said with a sly grin, "are you ready?"

Marinette stared up at the gates of the water park, smelling pool chlorine and feeling the scalding sunlight, and thought about the certain doom that awaited her on the other side of those gates.

"...Just a few more minutes?" she begged weakly. Just a little bit more and surely, _surely_ she could do this.

She could walk in and see Adrien in a bathing suit and _not_ fall flat on her face.

_Surely._

Every inch of her was begging to charge headlong in — to go see Adrien shirtless in all his glory — but the little voice of self-preservation in the back of her head knew better: if she walked in now, she would _die,_ plain and simple.

(Technically, their whole class was supposed to go in at once, but Marinette had lost a good ten minutes hyperventilating in the back of the bus, and thus, here they were, sitting ducks outside the water wonderland where a very shirtless Adrien was doubtlessly already enjoying the sun.)

"...Ah-huh," said Alya, and turned to look at the gates with her, hand on her hip and a wry grin on her face. "Five more minutes, and then I'm going in without you, you know."

_"Meep."_

"We don't have all day! _Some_ of us actually want to see the eye-candy, you know?"

 _'Wanting'_ was not Marinette's issue, but someone interrupted before she could say that.

"Oh, hey guys!" A soft, melodious, rough, utterly _gorgeous_ voice said. "See, Nino? I told you we weren't that late."

Oh no.

Marinette couldn't bring herself to turn around.

"Oh, whoops," Alya snickered under her breath. "Waited too long, girl."

_Oh no._

"Hey guys!" called Alya, waving an arm over her head in a gesture just _bound_ to bring stupidly attractive males closer to their location. "The rest of the class already went in. What held you up?"

Footsteps. _There were footsteps._

"Nothing much," Nino was laughing, flip-flops popping like gunshots. "Mister Model over here just got sidetracked with finding _juuuust_ the right tube."

Oh god.

Right behind her — _right behind her_ — was Adrien.

Adrien who may or may not be shirtless right at this very moment. Adrien who may or may not be shirtless in the near future. Adrien who was certainly in possession of a chest whether or not he chose to clothe it.

_Help._

"Shut up, Nino," groaned Adrien, lovely voice sailing right through the thunderous heartbeat in Marinette's ears — a heartbeat that came to a screeching halt at his next words:

"Hey, Marinette."

Marinette whipped around, nameless organs lodging themselves in her mouth and mangling her attempted greeting of, 'hey, Adrien,' into something closer to "Hmnyeep! Ari— Adri— hi!!"

Adrien was, she saw now, _tragically_ wearing a shirt.

Adrien was also, however, wearing swim trunks. And short sleeves. And sunglasses, ones that were perched on top of his head in a way that was impossibly cool.

'Plan: Melt Through the Floor' was still a go.

He smiled softly, kindly, _beautifully_ and said, "Sorry for startling you."

 _Startle-what_ , thought Marinette, to whom it was starting to occur that boys' calves were deeply, _deeply_ underrated, and should definitely be much more involved in every cinematic instance of female gaze.

Then, _wait. He's talking to **me.**_

"Huh? O-o-oh, no, no problem!" she squeaked, feeling the sun's destructive UV rays _very_ acutely.

Adrien, lord help her, smiled softer.

_Meeeep._

And then Nino elbowed Adrien, breaking the moment. "Okay, now that we're _finally_ here, d'ya want to hit the pool, or are you guys just gonna stand around and flirt all day?"

 _Flirting?!_ screeched all of Marinette's insides, but Adrien just shot his friend a droll look and started walking.

"Hey now," said Alya, drawing Marinette gently through the gates along with the rest of them once it became obvious that she couldn't move under her own power, "if _they_ wanna flirt..."

"It was a joke," said Nino dryly, slinging an arm around Adrien's shoulders and spinning his inflatable pool tube around his opposite wrist. "Still not sure if my bro here knows _how_ to flirt, y'know?"

Adrien made a grumpy noise that shot Marinette's heart to the floor. _It was just too cute._

They passed the collection of colorful administration buildings and watched the plain cement give way to bright tiling, and Nino let out a long, low whistle as they spied the neon water _paradise_ that greeted them on the other side.

Their class was already there — Kim and Alix were racing for the water slides with single-minded determination in their UV shirts and Bermuda shorts, Myléne and Ivan were sharing ice cream under a flowery sunshield, and Max was getting into the lazy river with a laughing Rose and smiling Juleka.

It looked like summer incarnate.

The feature, though, was the freaking _massive_ diving pool _right in front of them._

"...Race you guys?" Alya suggested, grinning as she hefted her bag off her shoulder.

"You're _on,"_ Nino agreed, shucking his own bags on the nearest dry patch, and Adrien nodded idly.

Marinette was halfway through shedding her wrap when Adrien stopped and blinked at her.

At her questioning glance, he looked faintly embarrassed. Rubbing the back of his head, he said, "You look cute."

_What._

Marinette's wrap slipped from numb fingers, blood roaring in her ears as it rushed to her face post-haste.

_Had he really just—_

And then he did a little double-take at the rest of her suit and _winked._

 _"Very_ cute."

Marinette made a noise. One singular noise of unknown origin and unknown demise, existing in that moment and no other.

_Oh god._

She was vaguely aware that Alya had dropped her bag, that Nino was now staring _bug-eyed_ at Adrien's back, but mostly she was aware of the fact that _Adrien Agreste_ had just called Marinette Dupain-Cheng _cute._

Adrien just glanced around their little group and grinned. "Ready, set, go?"

Marinette emitted a whirring whine, one almost identical to an over-stressed computer.

"Great!" said Adrien, and bolted for the pool, leaving his three friends in shock.

Nino gestured silently at their friend's back, gaping.

Alya achieved new heights of baffled shrug.

Marinette tried not to fall down, skin on fire and feet rooted to the ground.

There was a large splash.

"Hey, guys?" Adrien called from the water, sounding confused and almost undoubtedly now very very wet. "I thought we were gonna race?"

Horrified realization flashed across both of Marinette's friends' faces at once, and then Alya was charging after him, yelling uncomplimentary things at the top of her lungs, Nino hot on her heels.

Marinette just sank to the ground, mortified.

* * *

Okay, so, as far as distraction tactics went, perhaps teasing a friend wasn't the best idea, Adrien ruminated as he watched Marinette blow sulky bubbles against the inside of his inner tube. He'd offered it in apology when it looked like she'd taken his comment the wrong way, and hadn't dared to speak to her since.

It hadn't been a lie, though; Marinette _was_ very cute. She chosen (sewn?) a sleek black-and-pink one-piece that did _amazing_ things to her hips, and her legs alone were plenty enough to make Adrien understand why his male classmates had been looking forward to this trip so much.

Combine that with her high ponytail and multiplying freckles and bright blue eyes and soft blush and button nose and...

'Cute' was actually a pretty big understatement, now that he actually thought about it. Kind of _insultingly_ big.

He drifted sideways over to her as Alya hauled herself out of the water for her turn on the diving board.

They were _technically_ having a diving contest right now, but Adrien had a feeling that the rest of his friends had forgotten by the third round, and were now trying to achieve the silliest positions they could midair for the fun of it.

Marinette had fallen out of the contest somewhere around round two and was now floating around the edges of the diving area, calling out comments and scores and avoiding his gaze the whole while.

...Yeah, it was probably high time he apologized.

"Try a belly flop next time," she was laughing at Alya, cheeks glowing pink in the sun, and Adrien preemptively braced himself for the way her face would fall when she saw him.

"Hey, Marinette?"

_"Meep!"_

He backpedaled (backpaddled?) sheepishly, nose burning with chlorine and blush alike. "Um. Hi."

"Hi," she squeaked, blinking huge, electric blue eyes at him.

They lost an awkward moment just staring at one another, and then Adrien winced and rubbed the back of his head. "A-about earlier..."

He was cut off before he could finish.

"Oh my god, what is she _wearing?"_ Chloé's dulcet tones floated through the air like the notes of an out-of-tune piano. "Please, who turns up in _public_ like that?"

Oh no.

He and Marinette both turned to the source of the voice, and found Chloé sneering down at some poor girl who looked like she was about to cry.

"She should take pointers from moi," Chloé asserted to Sabrina, who nodded like Chloé had just spouted holy gospel. "This is top-of-the-line Gabriel, you know."

"I worked hard on this!" snapped the girl, looking furious and humiliated, standing up in a bathing suit that would have been right at home in a 1902 beach issue of _Fashion Weekly_. "How dare you!"

Adrien, knowing his childhood friend _very_ well, resisted the urge to sink under the water to miss the rest of the... interaction.

"Oh no," groaned Marinette beside him, and Adrien winced in agreement.

Chloé lowered her sunglasses. "Oh my god, you're _serious."_

"Maybe she's just _really_ poor," Sabrina suggested earnestly, "and couldn't even go to a thrift shop."

"So she's stupid or blind enough to inflict _this_ on the rest of us?" Chloé demanded, waving her sunglasses in emphasis before grunting in disgust and turning on her heel. "Come on, Sabrina, I refuse to share breathable air with this... _geriatric._ I might catch something!"

Adrien watched his friend stalk off and wondered if there was a point in attempting damage control or...

The probably-soon-to-be-akuma-victim ran in the opposite direction.

Yeah, okay, time for damage control.

Marinette scrabbled at his shoulder before he could haul himself out after the girl. "Ah! Wait!"

Adrien paused and blinked. "Yeah?"

"Wh-wh-what did you want to talk about?" she asked, eyes flitting to his and then flitting away and a flush growing on her cheeks.

It took Adrien a second, but... "Oh! About earlier, I wanted to apologize."

A funny look crossed Marinette's face. "...Apologize?"

Adrien patted her shoulder, distracted. "Yeah, for calling you cute."

"...For what."

"You're not cute, you're adorable," said Adrien, only partially screening his words before they left his mouth, "and I should have said that instea— oh shoot, is that an akuma?"

There was more to the apology, but Adrien's attention was pulled away. He squinted at the flying object that could quite possibly be a little black butterfly, and patted his friend's shoulder even more distractedly.

"Sorry, Marinette, gotta go," he said, doing a little hop and then a front paddle to reach the ladder, and got a mouthful of pool water for his trouble. His palm met the steel handle just as he managed to get the chlorine out of his mouth.

"If an akuma comes by, stay safe!" he called over his shoulder as he hauled himself out of the water, hot-cold air hitting his chest as the water slicked off him.

"Mngfmerp," said Marinette, which was... probably an agreement.

It was enough of an agreement that Adrien didn't feel too bad about leaving her behind to chase after the possible-akuma-victim.

Now he just had to hope he got there quick enough to make a difference.

* * *

In Marinette's defense, she was still pretty far from planet earth when the screams started up.

 _Sorry for calling you 'cute,'_ he'd said. _'You're adorable,'_ he'd said.

He was sorry he'd called her _cute_ because she was actually _adorable_.

Oh god.

Whose idea was it to give that wonderful, terrible, _amazing_ boy vocal chords?

Marinette wanted _words._

_'You're not cute, you're adorable.'_

—Not. Those. Words.

She sank a little deeper into the water, blowing bubbles with the air forced out of her lungs by her gyrating organs. Her face was still on fire, her extremities were still tingling, and Adrien's words were still bouncing around her empty skull.

He thought she was adorable.

_Adorable._

_Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—_

"Eeeeeeeek!"

Marinette jumped at the distinctly _not_ ecstatic scream from... very close by, actually.

She looked up and found an akuma in a neon vintage bathing suit hovering over a scattering crowd, hands and eyes glowing demonically against broad blue and white stripes.

"Cover up, you _slobs!"_

Marinette blinked, and suddenly a fleeing park-goer was gasping in horror, her ornamental bikini traded for an outfit that looked like it belonged in a prison in an instant.

"You're all _disgraces!_ None of you have _any_ appreciation for true beauty — guh, what possessed you to _buy_ that?"

And just like that, another three or so people were clothed much more effectively than they had been seconds previously.

...Oh right, the girl Chloé had talked down.

She was still around.

_Oooops._

Marinette backpaddled frantically, flinging herself into the overhang where she'd left her bag (and Tikki) as fast as she possibly could.

No more time for daydreaming; she had an akuma to catch.

* * *

...Which was proving to be much easier said than done, Ladybug thought, Lucky Charm in hand as she ducked around the wild shots the akuma was firing off.

Her time was running out _fast_ , and if she didn't figure out how to get the akuma out of its victim's _shirt_ fast, then...

Well, then the entire water park would be much less sunburned, and thousands of euros of swimwear would be lost to 'modesty' and 'class.'

Not the highest stakes she'd ever fought for, she'd admit.

Her earrings beeped.

She really did have to find a place to detransform, though. The fake waterfall to her right looked like a good place, all cascading fake rocks and plastic vines dangling beside the opening—

And then Adrien charged out of the crowd.

Snatching up and tossing an inner tube like the battle was just a human-sized ring-toss game, his golden skin glinted in the sun, a heroically determined frown on his beautiful face.

Ladybug could feel blood drain from her head.

What was he _doing?!_

Her horror was derailed by the enraged snarl the akuma let out, and then suddenly those wild shots were hitting the fake waterfall, things rumbling ominously behind the scenes.

"Ladybug!"

Her head whipped in Adrien's direction almost of its own accord, pulse singing in her ears, and found him stumbling over to her over the decorative waves surrounding the pool.

"Ladybug!" He looked almost _frantic._ "Are you okay?! Sorry, I couldn't—"

He cut off, gorgeous flush paling for a second, and Ladybug was about to ask when the rumbling got... _louder._

 _Terrifyingly_ loud.

Forgotten in the background, the akuma made a disgusted noise and cast off the tube, pointing one glowing fist at the base of the fake rock bank and _firing._

Ladybug was moving before she knew it, diving for Adrien through the blur of blue and green and shattered concrete. The bridge of her nose collided painfully with his bare shoulder a split second before she could feel a chunk of painted rock bounce off her hip, and then she and Adrien were tumbling back into the alcove together in a tangle of limbs.

With a great rumbling _crash_ , the opening sealed itself off, the alcove darkening like a theater after hours.

It took Ladybug a few moments to realize she was on top of _Adrien,_ but realize she did as the boy in question groaned and stirred.

 _Okay,_ Ladybug told herself as the world stopped spinning from the action and started spinning for another reason entirely, firm, damp flesh pressed against enough her face (her cheek, her ear, _her lips—_ ) to make her feel woozy, _you're good, you're chill, you're cool as a—_

"...Ladybug?" Adrien rasped, just close enough to a bedroom voice to pour liquid heat under Ladybug's skin.

"Y-yeah?" she gasped, jolting up onto her elbows and, _oh,_ did that put their faces close together...

Adrien blinked, close enough that she could count his eyelashes and admire the gold flecks in his irises, and caught his breath. Beautiful lips parted just slightly, a gentle exhale escaping them that warmed Ladybug right down to the core, and said, "Y-you... are you okay?"

It took Ladybug a second to register the words, goosebumps rising on her skin from head to toe.

"U-um," she breathed, "yeah."

Adrien inhaled sharply, his chest jumping with the motion and his cheeks darkening under the traces of light making their way through the vines around the skylights, and Ladybug swallowed _hard._

It would be easy, it would be so, so, so _easy_ to just... kiss him.

Right here, right now, smooth flesh under her lips and soaked hair tangled in her fingers and...

And the way he was looking at her right back, like he might not mind if she did...

All she really had to do was bend in just a little — five, four, three centimeters and she'd be—

_BEEP. BEEP._

She jerked back, heart in her mouth and ardor switched for mortified heat in a second as she realized what she'd just been about to do.

Adrien was staring at her, wide-eyed and even redder than he'd been before, and Ladybug felt a hysterical giggle building in the back of her throat in spite of all her efforts to stop it.

"A-a-a-a-anyway!" she wheezed as she scrambled back and upright, ears still ringing with their final warnings. "Thanks for the help, you're super cool, I gotta go—"

She glanced back at him, her eyes catching on that Adonis-like chest and then on his beautiful, shocked face, and stammered, "—I love you, bye!!" as she fled.

There wasn't anywhere _easy_ to flee, but the skylights were open and big enough for your smallish-to-average seventeen-year-old superheroine to squeeze through if she was determined, and Ladybug was _very_ determined.

One neat leap, a bit of dulled scraping about the shoulders and hips, a face full of fake leaves, and Ladybug was tumbling out the other side, thankfully into a bank of _actual_ bushes that hid her from sight as her transformation ran out.

One brilliant flash of pink light, and Marinette was lying face down on a perch much more prickly than it just had been, militantly trimmed holly scraping down her arms as she pushed herself up onto her elbows.

"Whew," sighed Tikki, shaking her head. She grinned teasingly. "Getting distracted, Marinette?"

Marinette's skin re-heated all over at the reminder. "N-no..."

Tikki looked more knowing than usual.

"...Yes," Marinette amended, burying her face in her hands. "We were all alone! Just the two... of... us..."

The two of them in that service area that they'd been trapped in by rockslide.

That she'd escaped but Adrien had most definitely _not,_ because he wasn't a superhero who could make three-meter jumps.

Which meant that, not only had she just completely abandoned her duties as a superheroine who _saved people_ , Adrien was now trapped there alone, with her being the only person who knew he was there.

_Shit._

She scrambled out of the bushes, getting all scraped up and snagging her bathing suit for her troubles.

There was a yelp of, "Hey!" from Tikki as Marinette snatched her out of the air, flailing for a pocket to put her in for about two seconds before realizing there was really only one place she could hide her kwami while wearing only a one-piece.

Marinette stuffed the tiny god down the front of her suit ( _"Hey!!"_ ) and flung herself over the bank of bushes.

She tumbled down the slope on the other side, distinctly lacking grace but also lacking major injuries, so she'd take it.

 _Grace was overrated anyway,_ she thought as she narrowly avoided slipping in a puddle at the bottom, heels slamming into the chalk-blue cement with a splash. What she _needed_ was to find someone who had the power to clear a bunch of broken rocks while she found cookies for her kwami.

Her kwami who was now grumpily squirming between her boobs.

"Sorry, Tikki," she hissed, edging around the bank in the direction of the crowd and stepping gingerly through the planter that edged the lazy river. "I'll get you cooki—"

She cut off, realizing that her path had led her to an access hatch that _looked_ like it might lead to the area that had been cut off.

That looked like it might lead to _Adrien._

Score!

She flung herself at the hatch, yelling, "Adrien?" as she did so.

* * *

Adrien, for his part, was slouched against one of the walls, trying to figure out what exactly had just _happened._

He'd found the poor girl Chloé had torn down just a minute too late — had gotten there just in time to see the last of the transformative corruption dissipate, leaving a black-and-neon akuma roaring in rage at the scantly-dressed crowds.

He'd done what he could without his suit — first having left Plagg behind with his bags and then not having a private place to transform — but what he could do without his suit... wasn't much.

The park was one very large, very _slippery_ jungle gym. One that was a lot scarier to try to parkour across when you weren't wearing shoes with grips or a suit that could protect you from nasty falls. He'd lost the akuma somewhere over the kiddie pools, only to catch up to it at the pool where he'd left his friends.

Thankfully, they'd all seemed to have left, leaving the pool free to host an akuma battle for the 'classy and moderately dressed,' feat. Ladybug and one very upset teenage girl.

And that was where things had gotten... weird.

He still hadn't been able to get far enough away to transform, had made do with what he could get his hands on, desperate to be of help, and screwed up a bit.

Which was to be expected, really, but normally his screw-ups didn't leave him nose-to-nose with _Ladybug_ as she looked like she was...

Like she might be thinking about...

...

There'd been a good five seconds there where he'd been absolutely certain that Ladybug was about to kiss him.

Which would be ridiculous, because Ladybug didn't have a clue who he was, and had pretty much no reason whatsoever to _want_ to kiss him... right?

Right.

But, if she hadn't been about to kiss him, then what was that all about? The dark eyes and breathless voice and heated glance at his mouth and—

_Gnk._

Okay, maybe... maybe think about that later.

And then, at the end—

"Adrien?"

The boy in question jumped, jerking in the direction of the voice to find:

"M-Marinette?"

"Hey!" she chirped, looking rather disheveled in the light shining behind her back, completely ignoring Rose and Juleka stumbling out of the lazy river behind her.

Well, it _was_ a relief that he wouldn't have to find a way out of this alcove on his own, but...

"...What are you doing here?" he asked, grateful enough to look a gift-horse in the mouth, apparently. Hey, it was weird enough that _he_ was back here, and he wasn't even the one who'd opened the 'staff only' door.

Marinette, in true Marinette fashion, froze, and then laughed a loud, awkward laugh. "O-o-oh! I, um... saw you fight the akuma and, well, thought you might be stuck! Which it looks like you were. Um."

Which was about what it took to get Adrien to realize that his really very cute classmate had probably seen the moment Adrien had decided to screw superpowers and play super-ring-toss with an innertube and a heartbroken teenage girl while pretending to be a hero, and then... get saved from a rockslide.

Ahhh-ha.

_Embarrassing._

Adrien winced and straightened, rubbing the back of his head and feeling his face heat. "You, ah, saw that, huh?"

"Oh, yes, definitely!" said Marinette, fidgeting in the broad motions she always did, and Adrien's face got hotter.

_Dang it._

"Well, anyway, thanks," he coughed, and hurriedly pushed himself upright onto achey legs. Wandering up to the exit, he offered, "Can I get you anything?"

"...'Get me'...?" echoed Marinette blankly, somehow grabbing the _worst_ two words out of that sentence to echo.

"As thanks," Adrien tacked on hurriedly as he edged out of the exit. "Like ice cream, or something?"

_Please let me buy your silence._

_And amnesia._

(More the latter than the former, admittedly — it didn't matter much if the person who knew about blackmail material used it if _they_ were the one you wanted to look good in front of.)

Marinette blinked once, twice, and then squeaked, "I-i-ice cream's good!"

* * *

Adrien got her the biggest ice cream sundae they sold at the park.

Something he wondered if he could do more often, because the look of blank shock on her face when it was delivered to their table was one of the most amusing ( _warming_ ) things he'd ever seen.

And then she took a bite, and the noise that escaped her throat made Adrien reconsider immediately — that long, low, delighted hum made all his insides _jump_ in a way he didn't think they were supposed to.

"Ssssso," he tried, breath escaping him on a hiss when aquamarine-blue eyes blinked open and fixed on him. He coughed. "Having fun?"

She pinkened adorably, swallowed down her mouthful with a cough, and gasped, "O-oh y-yeah! For sure! Nothing like an akuma to brighten things up around here! Ha ha ha!"

Adrien blinked.

Marinette flushed.

"Um, y-yeah, I'm having fun," she mumbled, and then ducked down behind her sundae.

"Um," said Adrien right back, feeling a sting of guilt for not quite managing to find the victim on time. "Yeah, the akuma's... kind of a mood-killer, isn't... um."

He trailed off as Marinette, who'd been eyeing the cookies shoved into the side of the dessert, reached out, plucked a chocolate cookie from the bank of whipped cream, and... pulled the neckline of her suit away from her body?

What?

Marinette froze, eyes comically huge as she realized he was staring at her. One finger was hooked in her neckline, the other holding the cookie, both looking quite poised to store her newfound treat in her _bosom._

(Adrien's hormonal mind presented him with the possibility of being asked to eat it from her... _grasp_ , but that thought was shoved out the window post-haste.)

That didn't explain what she was _doing_ with it though. Sure, Adrien knew a lot of people who stored things in their bodices for lack of pockets, but... _cookies?_

Before he could ask, Marinette shoved the entire thing in her mouth.

"Mrghmnff?"

"Um," said Adrien again.

A funny look crossed her face, and then she _jumped_ and clamped her arms over her chest with a muffled squeak.

"...Are you... okay?"

Marinette nodded frantically, hugging herself tighter and then doing another full-body twitch, squeaking again, rather... oddly.

Adrien was about to say, _Are you **really** sure you're okay?_ when Nathanael burst out of the milling crowd of swimmers and stumbled up to their table, gasping.

"Guys— help," he panted in that quiet way of his, looking almost panicked. "Kim and Alix—"

"Mnghff?" asked Marinette, mouth still full of cookie, and then hurriedly chewed and swallowed, repeating, "'Kim and Alix'?"

Nathanael lost a moment blinking at her, and then flushed. "They-they're refusing to get off the slides, and the staff aren't... happy."

Their class president straightened her shoulders and nodded seriously, still holding her chest.

"Lead the way," she said, calm and confident and serious the way she always was when you handed her a scrap of responsibility, and Adrien felt himself melt back into his seat with a mixture of relief and disappointment.

Whatever was bothering her apparently wasn't enough to take her down, but, well.

The sundae.

The sundae which was still on the table as she stood up, business-like, and leaned over to snatch one of the wafers out of the mass.

The sundae which was mostly _ice cream_ which was almost-but-not-quite melting, and which was definitely dripping from the end of the wafer as she retrieved it.

It was really only a logical conclusion to the movement, but Adrien still felt it like a punch to the gut when the cream dripped off the end of the wafer and landed on the warm, smooth, freckly slopes of cleavage exposed by Marinette's neckline.

Marinette, casual as you please, swiped her finger through the mess — soft flesh dimpling under her touch and flipping Adrien's stomach upside-down — and then stuck that finger _in her mouth,_ plush pink lips wrapped sweetly around the digit.

Adrien choked on his spit.

Poor Marinette, who didn't seem to realize her only company was a couple of hormonal teenage boys, just looked confused.

"'Ou okay?" she asked, muffled by the finger as her pretty face fell.

Adrien looked at Nathanael, who'd frozen stock still, _definitely_ more red than usual, and gave a strained laugh.

"Just fine!" he said, a little too loud and a little too deep, and hurriedly got up to pat her on the shoulder and drag both her and Nathanael in the direction of the slides. "But Kim and Alix are about to get us all kicked out, and we should go fix that! Very soon!"

Marinette looked even more confused and Nathanael still looked a little shell-shocked, but they both let themselves be guided away, and that was the important part.

* * *

Marinette had never dreamed of the day she'd be trying to shake Adrien _off_ , but there it was.

It was a struggle to put together a sentence long enough, but she managed to derail and ask to use the bathroom (oh god, _so embarrassing_ ) and sprint back to the in-park ice cream parlor, sighing in relief when she saw the sundae remained unbussed.

Ignoring the stares it earned her, Marinette hurriedly divested the sundae of its baked goods and dropped them into Tikki's hiding place.

"Thank you!" Tikki hissed as she received her dues, and Marinette giggled nervously instead of answering.

 _Oh jeez_ there were a lot of people around here — and Adrien and the others were still waiting for her on the water slides, and she'd just _totally embarrassed herself_ in front of _Adrien_ , and—

Tikki kicked her boob.

"Breathe," Marinette's bosom ordered sternly.

Marinette breathed.

Okay, she couldn't transform yet and needed to get across the park ASAP, so that meant...

Well, it probably meant that it was time to run for it.

"Meep!" Tikki yelped, squished as Marinette hugged her chest and the enfolded booty, lunging in preparation for a cross-park sprint.

"Oh my god," drawled an irritatingly familiar voice. "Do you just, like, specialize in being a weirdo nutcase?"

"Do you specialize in always coming around when you're _not wanted?"_ Marinette snapped back, straightening self-consciously but not daring to let go of her chest.

Chloé laughed, flicking her hair and somehow managing to _not_ catch her rings in it, and Marinette mourned that fact that a power like that was wasted on a person like _Chloé._

"Of course not! Where am I not wanted? I'm wanted _everywhere."_

_Ugh._

Marinette waited for Sabrina to pop in with an eager nod, and blinked at the space to Chloé's right when she didn't.

"Hey," she said, confused into civility, "where's Sabrina?"

Chloé blinked at Marinette, eyelids powdered a solid robin's egg blue, and then at the space where Sabrina usually resided. After a moment of contemplation, she shrugged and checked her nails. "Do I look like I know? I'm not her lackey."

Marinette sighed, exasperated. "No, but—"

"Anyway, move," interrupted Chloé, shoving Marinette out of her beeline to the counter, completely ignoring the line behind them. "I'm putting calorie-counting on hold today, because I've been good and I deserve it."

Marinette could point out a hundred things wrong with that sentence, but in the end, she just sighed and muttered, "I hope you break out," as she turned back to the slides.

There was already a swarm of orange-vested employees gathered around the top and bottoms of the slides, and Marinette winced and cringed.

She'd better hurry.

* * *

She got there just in time to find a shouting match going on between Kim and Alix, both ignoring the poor manager trying to get them to listen as the volume of their argument raised higher and higher.

"WELL, IF YOU WOULD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU'D KNOW!"

"IT'S POINTS, KIM! HOW ARE YOU SCREWING THAT UP?!"

She sidled up to Alya, who was already on the scene along with most of the rest of their class, grating under her bare feet and eardrums already ringing. "What happened?"

"They miscounted the points and can't agree on the full sum," Alya said behind her hand, jumping as Kim emitted a wordless noise of pure frustration. "They both know Alix won, but knowing the final verdict is... important. Apparently."

...That sounded like Kim and Alix, alright.

"Eheheh..." said Marinette, halfway between a laugh and a groan, and nudged Alya in thanks.

She sidled up to the arguing couple next, eyes bouncing between the two like it was a tennis match, and then waited for a break in which to pointedly clear her throat, the sun burning her back.

They both jumped when she did.

"Okay," she said, fast and loud and firm before she could lose their attention. "What's the problem here?"

"Midgets can't count," Kim said on the same breath Alix said, "Kim's an idiot."

Aaaaaand they went back to glaring at one another. Marinette sighed.

"Okay," she said again, familiar with the structure of their bets by now. "What was the score for the first round?"

"Forty-one to fifty-six," they said in perfect harmony, Alix folding her arms in a sulk as Kim set a hand on his hip and turned up his nose.

Marinette resisted the urge to sigh a second time. "And the second round?"

"Seventy-two to twenty-two."

"The third?"

"Thirty-three to fif—..."

 _As much as they fight,_ Marinette thought as a shadow fell over her back and protected her from the sun, _they **still** trail off at the same time._

Which probably meant that there was an akuma or authority figure or something behind her, but it was impressive, nonetheless.

Marinette turned around.

It was, indeed, an akuma — one who had the honor of being the _second_ person today to take one look at Marinette and curl their lip.

"Do you _like_ flaunting your breasts?" Underwater Ballerina demanded, raising a glowing fist. "It's _disgusting."_

Marinette's breasts were _highly_ insulted.

Kim and Alix hauled her out of the way of the blast just in time.

 _Adrien thinks you're cute_ , Marinette reminded herself as she launched into directing the horde of employees and classmates off the narrow platforms safely, patting backs and checking for stragglers. _He thinks you're **adorable.**_

As far as balms to her stinging ego went, it was _fantastic_ ; as far as thoughts to help her focus on the problem at hand, on the other hand...

Well, Marinette nearly forgot to get out herself once the platform was clear.

A kindly employee grabbed her by the scruff and hauled her down after the rest of them as a blast lit the grating green around their feet.

She was just about to protest leaving the akuma unattended when Chat launched over the railing, apparently having finally gotten wind of the problem, wherever he'd been.

"Hey, Ballerina! Dance to _this!"_

Marinette felt her shoulders unknit at the appearance of her partner and turned to follow the scattering crowd, confident that he could hold the fort until she found someplace to _finally_ set Tikki free.

* * *

Transforming _this_ time was blessedly simple for Adrien. He spared a moment to be very, very grateful he'd stopped to pick up both his outer shirt and Plagg on his way to the slides, because all it took to transform was a quick drop beneath the crowded, chaotic platform and a hiss of, _"Claws out!"_

Plagg grumbled, but not so much that Chat didn't make it in time to draw Underwater Ballerina away from the last few people getting down.

He waited until the last person on the platform, Marinette, had descended to square up.

"Alright," he said, half to his opponent and half to himself, "time to roll."

Surprisingly, Underwater Ballerina seemed to want to talk instead.

 _"Why_ are you wearing _bondage gear?"_ she demanded.

"Wearing what?"

She ignored his question and raised a fist, looking less like she was taking advantage of his shock so much as she was acting in instinctive horror.

Chat took the blast square in the chest.

Well, that was kind of pathetic, he thought. He usually lasted at least long enough for Ladybug to get on the scene.

He'd gone sort of lax, habitually waiting for the nothingness of nonexistence — or possession or hypnosis or personality inversion or _whatever_ it was this time — to take over, when he remembered that Underwater Ballerina's powers were... actually limited to wardrobe alterations.

He looked down at himself, praying that her powers hadn't detransformed him _here_ and found...

His forearms were bare. As were the bottom halves of his shins.

Nothing else seemed to have changed.

He looked up at Underwater Ballerina, who'd been silent for an awfully long time, and found her looking frantically between her hands and his patches of bare skin.

"Don't look at me!" she snapped, tone sounding more like fury born of panic than anything else, and then she blasted him again.

With a faint _oof_ of air knocked out of his chest, Chat's suit got slightly smaller; he had short sleeves and long shorts now, and his gloves and shoes were still intact.

Underwater Ballerina didn't even stop to say anything before blasting him a third time, which took him to 'sleeveless' and 'slightly shorter shorts' and removed his gloves and shoes, though not his still-active ring.

"Um," said Chat.

_"Why?!"_

She blasted him a fourth time, looking like she was clutching at straws, and Chat's top disappeared entirely, leaving him standing in what could probably generously be called 'shorts,' but what were probably closer to boxers.

Chat put his bare hands in a vaguely protective position, just in case his negotiations failed, and tried again. "Do you think we could stop here? Because... um."

Underwater Ballerina slowly lowered her hands, sort of glancingly looked at him through a wince, and spat, "Fine."

Chat sighed in relief and straightened. "Thanks."

 _"Just_... give me your Miraculous," said the akuma, sounding like she was in pain.

"Yeah... maybe not," said Chat, apologetic. "Tell you what, though: I'll help you get that akuma out."

_"Die."_

He sighed. "I thought you'd say that."

* * *

"Hey," Juleka was murmuring when Marinette caught up to the rest of her class at the bottom of the slides, "has anyone seen Max?"

There was a round of head-shakes.

"I haven't seen him since we got out of the river," Rose confessed.

"I haven't seen him since we were all at the gates," Nathanael murmured.

"I haven't seen him at all," said Ivan. "Are you guys sure he came with?"

"I saw him," Marinette volunteered. "But not since... a lot earlier."

"Did you check the game area?" Nino suggested.

Kim and Alix both went very, very still.

"They have a game area?" Kim asked blankly, and Marinette felt a tingle of warning shoot down her spine.

"In the park?" Alix asked, eyes bright and excited.

"Uhhh," said Nino, who looked like he was realizing what he might have just unleashed.

"You two should look there!" Myléne suggested brightly.

 _No,_ thought Marinette, tingling warning turning to cold horror, _they **really** shouldn't._

Kim and Alix in the same gaming area? They'd be lucky if they weren't kicked out before the end of the day.

Before she could make any alternate suggestions, Kim said, "That's a great idea. C'mon midget, help me look for my bro in all those games."

"Only if you're prepared to go down in _every single one,"_ said Alix, sounding downright playful as she prepared to sprint.

This... could not end well.

Marinette didn't have time to stop and fix it right now though — there was an akuma to fight.

The rest of her classmates didn't seem overly invested in her presence, so Marinette edged back as inconspicuously as she could until she hit a bend in the path, and then she dived behind a hedge.

"How're you doing?" she asked Tikki sheepishly, stretching her neckline and indicating that it was okay for the kwami to come out.

Tikki released a deep sigh of relief. "Glad that's over."

Marinette didn't have the heart to tell her it might _not_ be over, so she just murmured a quick, "Sorry!" before her, "Spots on!"

Time to stop that akuma.

* * *

Arriving on the scene, it actually took her a moment to recognize Chat, even though he was still in possession of most of his identifying features.

Something had happened to his suit.

Which was to say that, when he touched down next to her, she had a moment of deja vu over his chest, and then another, backed by a flash of distracted heat, and then she realized that the boy next to her was holding a staff and had a belt tail and kitty ears — realized that she was _ogling_ her _partner_ — and swallowed down a lump of panic.

"Um. What happened to _you?"_ she asked, hearing an edge of hysteria in her voice but not knowing for the _life_ of her how to get it out.

"Huh?" Chat stared at her with mask-framed green eyes, and then flinched and flushed, cheeks coloring to a soft shade of rose as he looked away.

"...That," Ladybug said, and gestured in the general direction of _all_ of him — lean muscle and golden complexion and the way the droplets of water glittered on his back and—

_Don't stare. I repeat: **do not stare.**_

He looked down at himself, face clearing of its confusion (if not its blush) once he was met with his bare (!!!) chest. "Oh, that. I, uh, got hit."

"Got hit?" Ladybug echoed numbly, aware that the akuma was wreaking havoc _right in front of them_ but somehow completely _physically_ unable to _rip her eyes away._

"Yeah," he said, and then flashed her a rakish, breathless grin, flexing one very shapely bicep and winking. "What do you think?"

_Do not stare, do not stare, do not stare, do not stare, DO NOT STARE—_

"Eh," said Ladybug, finding it somewhere in herself to turn away while all of her insides _screamed_ , "I've seen better."

Chat's kitty ears drooped, face falling a little and then fixing into a cheery mask.

... _Urk._

"Ice cold, bugaboo," he said, merrily bright, and then, _"Sh—_ look out!"

Ladybug, distracted by guilt and guilty lust alike, was tackled to the ground by her nearly bare partner with very nice biceps.

And shoulders.

And chest.

And abs.

And—

_Do. Not. Stare._

The structure of the ride they'd been standing by was now crashing down into the space they'd just occupied, and Ladybug thought that that might be important somehow, but it was kind of hard to think around the broad shoulder blocking her sight.

...Was it _normal_ to look at your friend's shoulder and want to _put your mouth on it?_

Because Ladybug really _desperately_ wanted to just... _lick it._ And maybe bite and nibble and suck it until it had a pretty pattern of bright red hickeys, Chat squirming and groaning under—

No.

_No._

No, it very much _wasn't_ normal and she _needed to stop staring._

"Ladybug?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

_No!!_

"Oh-heheh... Yep! Why?"

"...Just asking."

Ladybug, horror of horrors, felt her face start to heat as Chat's concerned green gaze drilled a hole in the side of her head.

He was still crouched over her, muscles flexed and poised _fascinatingly_ all over the sinewy length of him.

Very, _very_ belatedly, Ladybug shoved him away, burning all over with what was most certainly embarrassment and _nothing else_.

"Anyway!" she squeaked, stomach tied in mortified knots as she bounced up, almost _flinging_ Chat to the other side of the battlefield. "We should really defeat this akuma, huh? _Lucky Charm!"_

Chat, who'd only just straightened, ducked again to avoid the power, which was going a little more haywire than normal.

The Lucky Charm was a familiar little device that fit in the palm of her hand, a switch and a lead on one end and a bullet-shaped object on the other.

Ladybug didn't wait to figure out how to use it — she flung it as far away as she physically _could._

_"Ladybug?!"_

"So! We really should defeat that akuma, huh?" she repeated brightly, numb and hot and more than just a little bit hysterical this time.

"Uh," said Chat, sounding very rightly confused, "but the Lu—"

_"We really should defeat that akuma, huh?"_

She could feel Chat's stare bore into the side of her head again, even if she couldn't see him.

"...Are you _sure_ you're okay?"

Ladybug, after a moment of aftershock-numb contemplation, said, "...No."

Chat regarded her silently for a moment, and then patted her shoulder, the black of his ring contrasted against his gentle tan. "Let's... go defeat that akuma."

Ladybug nodded weakly.

* * *

The fight was a _disaster._

Seeing as Ladybug had used Lucky Charm early and then had _forcibly ejected it,_ she had to tap out early — which was a _good_ thing, because every time Chat had a moment of breathing room, he caught sight of her and remembered, _you're super cool_ and _I love you_.

Both of which were obviously born of some old habit or something, but _you're super cool_ and _I love you_ were both things Ladybug had said to _him_ , intentionally or not. He was going to treasure that memory _forever_ , but _holy smokes_ did it make it hard to focus.

In the end, he lost the akuma again. That was also a blessing in disguise, because he couldn't cleanse it on his own, and the park was once again _terrifying_ to try to fight in, now that he wasn't covered from head to toe in protective gear.

Again.

(There were many fair and legitimate reasons for being grateful for all this, but Chat guiltily acknowledged that a decent portion of his relief was due to the fact that Ladybug seemed to be terminating his habitual flirtations with even more prejudice than normal.

...He didn't look _that_ bad without a shirt, did he?)

He dropped back into the shopping and eating area of the park, sighing and rubbing the back of his neck as he looked around and kind of wishing for something to cover up with.

While there was a lot of foot traffic and bright colors, the thing that drew his eye first was a toddler leaning over a mother's tanned shoulder, squeaking happily at him and waving tiny, chubby little fists in excitement or greeting, he didn't know.

Well. Someone still liked him.

A tiny and cute someone, too.

He waved back, heart warming at the excitement on the tot's face, and then looked around once again.

(Wouldn't it be funny if he found a girl with a stack of cookies for her hungry kwami here? He wouldn't, he knew, but—)

"Chat?" Marinette called from somewhere behind him. "What happened to the akuma? Is something wrong?"

He turned around, surprised, and there, indeed, was Marinette, who was sitting on a stool next to the outdoor counter and nibbling her way through what looked like the bakery's entire supply of peanut butter cookies.

"Hey, princess," he greeted, cheered. "I never knew you had such a big sweet tooth!"

She blinked at him, then at the plate of cookies in front of her, and giggled nervously. "Oh! Uhhh, you know it!"

Chat blinked at the odd reaction, then shook his head, brushing it off as normal Marinette weirdness.

"Should've known," he teased. "Someone as sweet as you has to get her sugar _somewhere."_

The comment (thankfully) earned the expected eye roll and smothered smile, and Marinette moved on with a, "So, the akuma?"

Chat slumped. "I lost her."

Marinette offered him a sympathy cookie.

Chat accepted it, self-consciously folding his arms over his chest as he bit in. Not as good as the Dupain-Chengs' ones, but that was an unfair comparison, probably.

"Is everything okay?" Marinette asked gently, a worried crease between her brows. "You look kinda... down."

And it was possibly one of the most _embarrassing_ things he'd ever said, but... well.

It was Marinette.

"Marinette... _you_ think I'm cool, right?"

The girl in question blinked. "Y—... yes?"

"Even without a shirt?" he pressed.

"Um," said Marinette, looking deeply confused. "Y-yeah, of course! ...Why?"

Chat drooped into the seat next to her, metal startlingly hot under his thighs. "Ladybug doesn't."

Marinette twitched.

"She, ah, doesn't?"

"I don't think she's ever shot me down as hard as she did today," Chat admitted in a mumble, burying his face in his forearms on the cold granite and feeling his heart somewhere in the vicinity of his knees. "I don't look _that_ bad, do I?"

Marinette slapped the table on the far side of her plate, her hand making a funny squeaking noise as it connected.

"Sorry," she said, looking faintly strained, "there was a bug. Anyway! I'm sure it wasn't _that_. You look... great!"

Chat's mouth tried to smile, his heart (his ego, really) falling a little further. "It's okay. You don't have to go that far."

Marinette sighed. "I'm _serious._ You look _fine._ Pretty good, even."

That, at least, sounded more honest. He peeked out from behind his forearms to find her glaring at her pile of cookies like they'd personally offended her somehow, nose and cheeks stained sunburn-red.

She turned to him, a look of chagrined embarrassment on her face.

"...Do you usually have this much trouble complimenting people, or am I special?" he asked, amused, after a moment of silent standoff.

Marinette sighed explosively.

"You're too... _over-the-top_ to compliment," she grumbled, setting her chin on one hand and patting him between the ears with the other. "You're _good_ but it's _really_ hard to say."

The laugh that startled out of Chat got caught in his forearms. "Good to know."

Marinette sighed again. "Look, don't worry too much about Ladybug, okay? I'm sure she was just distracted by your sexy abs or something."

A silence fell, in which it seemed to occur to Marinette exactly what she'd just said. The unadulterated horror said it all.

"...'Sexy abs'?" Chat repeated, grinning.

"I said nothing," she snapped, almost before he stopped speaking. "Nothing."

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure I heard something about—"

_"Nothing."_

Chat was considering the pros and cons of teasing her further (that blush was _very_ pretty, but she might get uncomfortable, and that was a no-go), when he heard Nino in the distance.

_"Heeeeeeeeeey, Aaaaaaaadrieeeeeen!"_

The boy in question raised his head automatically, and Marinette leaned away from the counter to frown in Nino's direction.

Nino caught sight of them, waving and jogging over.

"Hey, Marinette," Nino wheezed, bracing himself against the counter, "have you seen— oh! Chat?"

"Have I seen who?" Marinette echoed as Chat waved to his friend behind her.

Nino shook off his surprise. "Have either of you seen my bro Adrien? I haven't seen him since we were all on the slides."

Marinette blanched.

"I'm sure he's—" _around,_ Chat started to say, a nervous sweat breaking out on the back of his neck, but Marinette cut him off with, "D-did anyone see him get _off_ the slides?"

 _Ohhhhh shoot,_ thought Chat, watching Nino freeze and pale under his deepening tan.

Nino and Marinette stared at one another for a second, and then Marinette lurched off her seat, grabbing a bakery bag right out from under the cashier's nose ( _"Hey!"_ ) and pouring her cookies into it with single-minded focus.

Chat blinked at the bag as Marinette deftly crimped it shut. _Had he just heard a yelp from in there...?_

"Let's go," she said, tossing the plate back down with a scary glint in her eye.

Nino, who'd been staring into space and seemed to be having something of a small crisis, jumped at the words, then nodded like a soldier receiving orders.

_...Double shoot._

"I'm gonna go look over there," Chat put in, gesturing in the opposite direction and sounding a good deal more composed than he felt. "I know I saw him make it down okay."

He got two distracted nods, which he took as leave to head into the nearest bathroom to detransform.

It took him about thirty seconds, tops, and he ran back, shoving his grumpy kwami in his shirt and shouting, "Hey guys! I heard you were looking for..."

They were already long gone.

Adrien sighed.

* * *

It took half an hour of panic-ridden search, but together, Marinette and Nino asserted that Adrien hadn't died in or around the slides.

"Chat must've been right," said Marinette as they met at the bottom of the stairs, feeling a little bit sheepish for not trusting her partner.

Nino slumped in relief. "Yeah dude. But still, man, where _is_ he?"

Marinette wished she knew.

"Hey, guys!"

_Again?_

Alya was wandering over to them, looking concerned. "Have either of you seen Sabrina?"

"Sabrina?" asked Nino, and Marinette suddenly remembered the incident with Chloé at the ice cream parlor.

"I saw Chloé earlier," she volunteered, cringing on the inside, "but not Sabrina."

Nino nodded in agreement. "Me too, bro."

"Shoot," said Alya, frowning up at the slides. "We still can't find Max, either."

"He wasn't at the gaming area?" Nino checked. At Alya's head shake, he sighed and adjusted his cap. "We're missing, like, three people. How does this _happen?"_

"Three?"

"Adrien's missing," Marinette put in, worry gnawing at her gut. Pointing at the top platform of the slides, she said, "We haven't seen him since we were up there."

Alya looked confused. "What are you talking about, girl? I saw him, like, five minutes ago. He's helping me look."

Alya was a _savior_.

"He is?" said Nino at the same time Marinette gasped, "Really?!"

Alya blinked, surprised, and then glanced between her two near-overwrought friends and the metal contraption behind them and sighed. "Please don't tell me you _both_ thought he'd died up there."

Nino and Marinette traded a guilty wince.

"If you just slowed down enough to _look around_ , he was over by the bakery," Alya informed them both drily, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. "'Said he saw you two, even."

Marinette frowned. That _couldn't_ be right, could it? Her Adrien-radar hadn't failed her _that_ badly, had it?

"Well, your boy isn't dead, so help us look for Sabrina and Max," Alya went on firmly, hand on hip. "We need to find them before we can leave, and it's getting late."

"Aye-aye, captain!" said Marinette as Nino fired off a lazy salute.

They split, Alya shouting a reminder to meet by the gates as they did.

Marinette waited until she was in a fairly safe nook behind a semicircle of hedges to open her bakery bag.

"Whew," Tikki sighed as she floated out. "I never appreciated how _nice_ pockets were before."

"Sorry," Marinette whispered apologetically. "It's almost over, I promise. Ready?"

"Hmmm..." Tikki stretched. "Yep!"

Marinette took a breath to say the magic words, only to freeze when Tikki added, "Remember to be nice to Chat this time!"

_Urk._

"I know, I know," she groaned, feeling the sides of her face heat at the memory. "Spots on!"

* * *

"Maaaaaaaax!" Adrien called, hands cupped around his mouth as he wandered around the pool section of the park. "Sabriiiiiiina?"

No good.

"'Go on the field trip,' they said," he mumbled to himself as he checked under the bridge that went over the lazy river. "'It'll be fun,' they said."

"Kid, if she doesn't like your pecs, let it go."

Adrien flinched. "I wasn't thinking about that!"

"Uh... huh," said Plagg from inside his pocket. "Do you need cheese?"

Adrien squinted at the crowds over the far side of the bridge, about half of which were dressed in what they probably came in and the other half dressed in high nineteen-hundreds beach fashion — none of whom looked like his missing classmates. "...Why would I need cheese?"

"To keep your spirits up," Plagg said, like it should be obvious. "It's much better than girls."

"...What?"

"Cheese will never insult you," Plagg asserted wisely.

"It _insults_ me with its smell," Adrien said, droll. He crossed the bridge proper back over to the pool area and started looking through it for heads of dark black and carrot orange. "...I wonder if it would be easier to find them as Chat."

"What, so you can sniff them out?" Plagg swallowed down his morsel. "Too much chlorine, too many people. Won't work."

Adrien sighed.

Aaaand caught sight of Underwater Ballerina. Again.

Right, that was also a problem that needed fixing.

She was hovering over a clump of scattering people, taking shots at random, apparently having moved on from shouting to fury-fueled focus.

And _again_ there was nowhere to transform.

_Ugh._

Another three people's bathing suits were replaced be the time Adrien got there, which... was a lighter body count than he was expecting, actually.

"Hey, Underwater Ballerina!" he shouted, shoving his way upstream through the (rather annoyed-looking) fleeing crowds. "Hasn't anyone told you that pinking is _so_ last century?"

Underwater Ballerina paused her attack to glare at him as he cleared the crush of bodies, raising one glowing fist and snapping, "It's _fifties_ fashion — get it right!"

"That's what I—"

_"Look out!"_

"—oof!"

Adrien tumbled sideways, hitting the water of the wave pool with a rather painful crash.

His momentum carried him through the water, cool liquid rushing around him on all sides, dragging at his hair and clothing. It took him a moment to slow down enough to figure out which way was down (and, therefore, which way was up), and by the time he finally managed to figure out where the surface was, his lungs were _burning._

Two, three, four strokes and he broke the surface, gasping in new air and choking on the water that came with it.

Another few moments of coughing and spluttering, and he was finally breathing again.

He doggy-paddled over to the edge of the pool, sorting out what had just happened in his head.

He'd ran up to the akuma shouting, the akuma had shouted back, and then...

Ladybug had shoved him out of the way of a blast, _that_ was it.

He caught the lip of the pool, resting his arms on the hot concrete and floating there for a minute, trying to gather himself enough to haul himself out and get back to work, and when he looked up...

There was a girl in a Ladybug-styled bikini glaring at the akuma.

"Not _again!"_ Underwater Ballerina was snarling, but Adrien heard it like _he_ was still underwater, because, belatedly, it was starting to sink in just who that girl was.

That wasn't a random citizen in hero merch.

That was _Ladybug._

 _Ladybug_ who was standing on long, lean, supple legs, _Ladybug's_ mouth-watering hips cocked to the side, her sinewy back and delicate shoulder blades and graceful neck and—

And all of her was very, very bare.

From where he was looking, all he could see were the triangle of cloth covering her (lovely, jaw-dropping, _worship-worthy_ ) backside and the two strings that were possibly holding up the top half of her suit.

_Oh god._

The corner of his brain that wasn't staggering under this new and unexpected overload of her soft, creamy expanses of _skin_ merrily pointed out that if _any_ of the ties there were to come loose, she'd lose half her suit.

Adrien could actually kind of _feel_ the blood drain from his skull at that thought.

He sank back a little into the mercifully cold water, a blush _scorching_ him from head to toe. _Oh god oh jeez oh fu—_

Shutting his eyes didn't help — that just made it easier to see the cheeky grin she might flash him if he were to catch one of those bows in his mouth and tug it free.

Opening his eyes didn't help either — _especially_ not when she half-turned and frowned as she tugged her top away from her body, unbearably soft flesh squishing under her touch as she mumbled, "Thaaat's... not good."

Adrien agreed, if only because he was rapidly approaching 'spontaneous combustion' levels of turned on.

And then she straightened, setting one hand on her hip and bouncing her yo-yo with the other as she smirked at the akuma.

"That all you got?"

Holy _fuck._

Adrien swallowed down a whine, blood racing and _burning_ at the sound of her voice, smooth and low and sure, at the curve of her smirk, the glint in her eye, the flash of her teeth against her _perfect_ lips—

Chat Noir needed to go home now.

He _couldn't_ , because there was still an akuma here they needed to defeat, but Adrien was predicting that he'd be utterly useless for the next week or so, because there was no way he was recovering from this before then.

Sinking deeper into the water, he figured that he'd probably do more harm than good if he got out now — he wasn't sure his legs would support him if he did.

He wasn't sure how long he lost to trying to regain some semblance of coherence, but it was long enough to hear both Ladybug's third cry of _"Lucky charm!"_ and the quiet beeps as her time trickled down.

He only lurched out of it ( _finally_ ) at her distressed _tch_ , the worried look that flashed across her face piercing through his daze.

_Shoot._

His partner was fighting for her... well, not her life, but something close, and here _he_ was, relaxing in the pool and trying (failing) not to think about her naked.

_Good job, Agreste, real classy._

He scrambled for the ladder as necessity made itself known, Ladybug dancing out of the way of the akuma's swinging fists and covering her ears. He was halfway out when he actually stopped to tally up the time in his head.

He wasn't sure of the passing of seconds, but he was pretty sure he'd heard four beeps.

No wonder Ladybug looked so worried.

That was as far as he got before her earrings started to screech in earnest, a look of actual panic flitting over her face as she frantically scanned the area for a hiding spot and apparently coming up blank.

There was a place behind her, in her blind spot — an abandoned maintenance hatch for the lazy river — but there was no time to point it out to her.

He'd have to run.

It was a good thing he was used to running, he thought as he removed himself from the pool in a cascade of water and set his foot over the drain grating.

He charged at Ladybug headlong, seeing her face slacken in surprise as he latched onto her arm and dragged her back, and then collided with the hatch door shoulder first.

Two seconds of heart-stopping struggle, and the door proved to be unlocked.

He burst through, pulling Ladybug in with him and staggering back against the door to shut it with his weight, Ladybug's momentum carrying her smack into him.

_Made it._

He took the time to register that, and then froze as it occurred to him that Ladybug was really _very_ close.

Like, 'pressed against him from knee-to-shoulder' close.

Like, 'the bare skin of her stomach was slip-sliding against his with every breath' close.

Like, 'he now knew with perfect clarity _exactly_ how soft her breasts were' close.

...Oh.

"A-Adrien?" she panted, hot breath cooling the drops of water clinging to his neck.

...She was much too close to _not_ feel what this was in the process of doing to him.

Oh _shit._

"Hey," he rasped, less because he was out of breath and more because he'd just discovered that yes, it _was_ perfectly possible for Ladybug to wreck him with a word.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP—_

Adrien slammed his eyes shut against the blinding pink light, feeling Ladybug squeak and bury her nose into his neck as the cool tingle of magic sweep them both from the ground up.

_...Double shit._

When the light cleared, there was slightly less skin pressed against his front — not that it mattered much, because _who Ladybug was behind the mask_ was now pressed against his front, and that was a whole 'nother league of mind-blowing.

"Um," Ladybug whispered against his collarbone, sounding anxious and awkward.

"Sorry," Adrien whispered back.

It earned him an unsteady giggle puffing hot over his neck, one that, despite circumstances (gotta love hormones), shot down his spine in sparks and chills and tingles.

And. Had other effects too.

Effects which Ladybug _noticed_ with a little shift of her hips, and leaped back from with a strangled yelp.

_Kill him now._

"Sorry," he babbled, shrinking back against the door and looking up without thinking, "sorry, sorry, so—... _Marinette?!"_

His first thought upon seeing his tiny, alarmed classmate was, _how did you get in here?_

His second was, _wait, I dragged you in here._

And then, _wait, it was Ladybug I dragged in here._

And then, finally, "...Ladybug?"

"Ah," said Marinette, in a way that kind of sounded like she wanted to shout, but her attempt went sideways.

Adrien could empathize.

And then, slightly belatedly, he yelped, "...Wait, _you're_ Ladybug?"

She stared at him for one long moment, and then buried her face in her hands, moaning, "Tikki's gonna _kill_ me."

The little red kwami floating beside her gave Adrien a big shrug.

"She, um, doesn't _seem_ mad?" Adrien volunteered, and then put a hand to his spinning head. "Holy _shit."_

...Wait.

Marinette was Ladybug, which meant that it was Ladybug who'd said...

Who'd said...

Marinette looked up, shockingly blue eyes distracting him from that line of thought.

"You can't tell _anyone,"_ she plead, looking so distraught that Adrien's tongue was tripping to reassure her before any of the rest of him had caught up.

"Of course," he said, standing up straight and bumping a fist against his chest. "Your secret is safe with me."

Marinette smiled as sweetly and softly and gratefully as only Marinette (...holy shit, as only _Ladybug—_ ) could, clasping a hand over his arm and going on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

Adrien froze, blood rushing to every available square inch of skin, the feeling of her warm, damp lips seared over his heart in one fell swoop.

"Thank you," she breathed, the sound shivering over Adrien's system like cool rain, and then froze herself, flushing.

She was in good company — Adrien wasn't sure he'd ever blushed this hard in his life.

"A-a-anyway!" she stammered, backing up and waving her hands. "I should, um, g-go find food. Cookies. F-for Tikki— th-that's my kwami, and... wait."

"What?"

Marinette was staring at him with a mixture of confusion and suspicion.

"...You knew who Tikki was."

The kwami herself was holding nub limbs over her huge eyes and slowly shaking her head.

"Um," said Adrien.

"...But there's no way you'd know _that_ unless..." She frowned at him for a good long minute.

And then snorted.

"Ha! As if," she giggled to herself, waving her thought away with those broad gestures that were so characteristic of her and Ladybug both and holy _shit_ how had he not suspected soon— "There's no _way_ you could be Chat Noir. That would be ridi—"

"Hi," said Plagg.

Marinette _screamed._

It was a very impressive scream, according to Adrien's ringing skull and early-onset deafness. Truly, it could only be Marinette's (...Ladybug's?) work.

Plagg waited for it to peter out before going on, "He's Chat Noir, you two are the ones that are ridiculous, and _this_ is not giving me cheese. What gives?"

 _"Ah,"_ said Marinette.

"Cheese _later,_ Plagg," Adrien muttered, pushing Plagg back into his pocket ( _"Hey!"_ ) and verging on mortified. And then said, "...Hi, Mar—... Lady—... Bugi—"

And promptly tripped over her name.

What on _earth_ was he supposed to call her?

 _"Ah,"_ Marinette said again, a variety of emotions crossing her expressive face.

"...Hi, Ladybug," Adrien finally decided, rubbing the back of his still-burning neck sheepishly.

Marinette clamped her mouth shut hard enough that her teeth clacked. "...Chat?!"

Adrien gave her a shy little wave.

And then yelped.

"M-Mari—?" he said — or _tried_ to say, because she'd just reached out and pinched his cheeks, deft fingers digging into his face to measure his facial structure.

She ignored his confusion and poked his shoulders next, measuring their width, and then his hips.

"M-Marinette? Wh—"

She grabbed the edges of his open outer shirt and spread it wide, scowling furiously at his chest and stomach and then shutting it with a snap and scowling up at his face instead.

"...Chat _Noir?!"_ she demanded.

...That was Marinette, alright.

And, apparently, Ladybug too.

"Is there any other?" he joked weakly.

She let go of his shirt with a stunned movement, taking one step back, and then another.

"Oh my _god."_

Yyyyep, that about summed it up.

She stared at him for one long moment, and then, abruptly, she blanched.

"...What?"

She let out a strained giggle. "Oh! No, no, nothing! Just, ah, we know each other's civilian sides now, huh! Wow! A-a-anyway, we should really go defeat that akuma, huh?!"

"...Ladybug."

"Urk."

She glanced over at him with bright red cheeks, cringing like she was waiting for a blow.

He gave her a knowing look.

Sighing and slumping, she asked, looking deeply pained, "...Is there any way I could pay you to forget today?"

Adrien wondered what she was talking about for a solid three seconds before remembering: "Oh, you mean the whole, trying-to-feed-the-kwami-in-your-bathing-suit thing?"

Marinette flinched.

"...And the 'you're super cool, I love you, bye,' thing?"

Marinette wilted.

"And the 'sexy abs' th—" Marinette emitted a soft whine, and he looked over to find her with her maroon-shaded face buried in her maroon-shaded hands. "...I can stop there."

Marinette whimpered.

After a moment of deliberation, Adrien reached over and gently clapped her on the shoulder. "...For... what it's worth... I think you're amazing. Weird and all."

His own face felt hot as he said it, stomach churning at the necessity of vulnerability, but the look she gave him was worth it.

"Yeah?" she said, awed halfway to a whisper.

Adrien rubbed the back of his head, his stomach now colonized by a butterfly migration. "'Course."

She smiled at him for a second, thoughtful, and then looked away and said, "...You're pretty cool yourself, you know."

_Gnfpffk._

The compliment was already blossoming through his system, unfurling bubbly heat through his limbs and curling up his toes, when she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

Again.

The second hit of her soft, warm, damp lips on his skin was much, much worse than the first. His pulse staggered under it, his knees weak and his body feeling light and warm and _thrilled_ tight down to his curled toes.

Marinette glanced at the silly grin on his face and snorted. "We really _do_ need to go defeat that akuma, though."

"Yeah," Adrien sighed, swaying into the space she'd vacated like it might bring her back.

"C'mon, minou," she said, stretching and smiling and _oh..._ "Let's go."

"...Right behind you."

* * *

A short list of things Marinette would probably never forget about that day:

  1. What it felt like to watch Adrien transform into Chat Noir.
  2. That Chat had been doing just fine with the akuma until she turned up, which was the point at which he turned bright red under the mask and started stumbling into things.
  3. (That Adrien _remembered_ all the embarrassing things she'd done, oh god.)
  4. The knowing look Tikki had given her as soon as she stopped to look at her kwami, and all thoughts it brought on.
  5. The way it felt to be tackled out of the way of falling debris, only to find herself pinned by a nearly-naked Chat Noir, slipping against sweat-damp skin and feeling his breath against her cheek.
  6. The fact that, instead of giving her his usual shit-eating grin, he'd then frozen and reached all new heights of crimson blush.
  7. (The dim realization that maybe she wasn't the only one who was going to go home and replay that moment tonight.)
  8. The moment where she'd lost track of where they were fighting, leading to Chat picking up her discarded third Lucky Charm and saying, "Oh! It vibrates. That's cool."
  9. That the akuma with one of the most harmless powers she'd ever seen held the current dubious record of needing the most Lucky Charms to defeat.



In the end, she picked up her seam-ripper and tossed it into the sunset sky, sighing in relief as her super-bikini was switched back out for her proper super-suit.

Never again would she take for granted its protection against the elements — or, well, against concrete and steel and unexpected falling buildings.

"Mission accomplished!"

Chat's (now covered) knuckles bumped against her own, and the boy himself glanced her over and released a sigh that managed to echo Ladybug's feelings exactly.

"Glad it's over?" she teased anyway, glancing at black shoulder pads and wondering why her odd temptations hadn't budged at all.

"Ssssomething like that," he said with a groan and a stretch.

... _Wow_ , Ladybug hadn't ever really appreciated the pattern of those tiles over yonder. They were so bright and colorful and _geometric_ —

Somehow, they didn't lessen the heat in her face or the tingles in her belly one bit.

"A-anyway," she found herself stammering, rather more breathless than she'd like to be, "we-we should... get back—"

"Hey," Chat interrupted, frowning into the distance — in the direction of the lazy river, "is that Sabrina and Max?"

* * *

It was, indeed, Sabrina and Max.

They'd apparently gotten into the river and fallen asleep in their inner tubes, and had been drifting around the park for a good six or seven hours now.

Which explained why none of them had been able to find them, Marinette thought as Ivan fished their sleepy wayward classmates out of the river.

"Where _were_ you?" Chloé demanded as Sabrina stumbled over to her, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. "Didn't you know I needed someone to hold my bags?"

Sabrina squeaked and uttered something like an apology as Ivan thumped Max's back.

"You doin' okay there, buddy?"

Max, also scrubbing at his eyes, said, "Five squared is a part of a _polynomial,_ not a linear equation," and then, "Huh?" and then, "Yes, yes, I'm fine—... um."

Marinette followed his worried gaze and then winced herself.

Kim and Alix, looking somewhere between ashamed, sheepish, and defiant, were being marched over to their location by a veritable army of orange-vested staff members.

...Sometimes, Marinette hated it when her hunches were right on the money.

"Is there a problem?" she asked, in her most Ladybug-slash-class-president voice.

"These yours?" asked a distinctly more surly manager than the one who'd been dealing with them on the slides.

Alix scuffed her bare foot on the ground. Kim's shoulders were slumped.

Marinette sighed.

"Yeah, they're ours."

What happened next boiled down to an astonishingly polite, 'please leave this park and never come back,' considering the circumstances.

Marinette wasn't sure she wanted to ask the offenders what they'd done.

They were all politely escorted to the gate, their names were all politely jotted in the blacklist, and Marinette politely died a humiliation-fueled death.

All in all, it was a productive day at the water park.

Adrien caught up to her as they passed through the gates, surrounded by a crowd that was half their own and half strangers who were leaving now that their swim gear had been restored.

"Well," he whispered as the bus came into view, his voice sending shivers down her spine that were somehow even _more_ intense than normal (and how was that fair?), "that sure was a catastrophe."

Marinette stopped walking.

"...Did you just—"

It took one glance at his grin to tell her that he really _had_ just.

It was a rather awful thing to realize that just seven hours ago she'd been swooning over this idiot.

She sighed as he snickered, taking in his quietly, honestly _delighted_ look, and, well...

 _"Well,"_ she had to concede, "I guess it wasn't that bad."

Adrien glanced at her questioningly.

Marinette smiled, affection sitting like honey in her chest. "I found you, didn't I?"

And that led to the best discovery of her whole day: Adrien could dish it day in and day out, but when it came to _being_ flirted with?

He flushed bright red, muttering, "...Oh."

Marinette wasn't quite done reveling in this unexpected victory, when he went on.

"A-anyway," he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck like it would help reduce his blush a little, "we should... catch the bus. Don't wanna miss our ride!"

"...I can think of some things I'd rather ride," slipped out of Marinette's mouth in a mumble before she could stop it.

_Shit._

Adrien gave her a very confused look.

"Wha—?"

Nope, nope, nope, nope!

Panic bubbling in her stomach, Marinette slapped his shoulder and blurted, "Race you!" before taking off in the direction of their bus, hell-bent on escaping before he put together what she'd meant.

"Hey!!"

(The joke was on her, though; he didn't figure it out until they were halfway back to the school.

"Wait, by 'ride,' you didn't mean..."

Marinette stared out the window at the passing scenery and prayed for death, too hot in her skin and hating that she was still _thinking about it._

"Oh," said her seatmate. And then, with much more realization, _"Oh."_

The only mercy on Marinette's soul was that Adrien was too embarrassed himself to give her hell for it, and the last ten minutes of their trip was spent in scarlet-shaded silence.

'What a catastrophe' indeed.)


End file.
